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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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Filling the Void
Diane
Wisconsin, United States

I had an abortion when I was 18 years old, because I was afraid of what my parents would say when they found out I was pregnant.  I was afraid my boyfriend did not want to get married at that time.  So I did the unthinkable.  

After the abortion I experienced horrible regret and shame.  I also had complications that sent me back to the abortion clinic twice...the second time I had to have a D&C because of hemorrhaging. I felt like God was punishing me and that I certainly deserved it. 

For many years afterward, I lived with feelings of constant emptiness and worthlessness.  I thought having more children would fill that horrible void and make me forget about the shame of ending my first child's life. I was bulimic and using laxatives and diuretics.  I would continue to be bulimic for almost 35 years.  I struggled with relationships in every part of my life.  I had trouble holding down a job.  I was constantly looking for a man to love me and to make me feel better.  I ended up divorcing twice.  I was a broken down, messy single mom with three children who could not pull it together.

I never felt fully forgiven until I gave my life to Jesus Christ.  He has helped me recover from a 35-year eating disorder and helped me to pull the pieces of my life back together.  He has blessed me with a wonderful husband and given me another start with a late-in-life child.  And though I can't take back the things I have done, the people I have hurt, He has forgiven me, restored me and set me free.  Who the Son sets free, is free indeed!  I hope and pray that those who have experienced abortion can know the love and forgiveness found only in Jesus Christ and that those contemplating abortion can know that God has a plan and purpose for their lives and the lives of their babies and it a much better plan than they can fathom.  I am choosing to be silent no more.

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