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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Melody's 2019 March for Life Ottawa Testimony
Ontario, Canada

In 1973, I had a second-term abortion at Toronto General Hospital.  I was 16 and my baby was around 14 weeks gestation. 
While living away from my family, after our home had burned, I became pregnant as a result of being sexually violated by a young man.  At the time, I was a sheltered, artistic, sensitive 15 year old, who played with dolls just 2 years prior. 
I was a virgin, and planned on waiting until marriage, but was raped on the first date.
As I was a minor, my parents signed papers to consent to the abortion, and drove me to the hospital.  The doctor inserted a lamineria in me to widen my cervix for the very invasive abortion scheduled 24 hours later.  After the abortion, when I woke from the general anaesthetic, a nurse yanked yards of bloody packing from me.  
I was sent home, and never told anyone about my horrible, shameful, dirty secret.  I felt wrecked - no longer a nice girl - totally embarrassing.
My milk came in.  No one told me that would happen.  I cried a lot.
Twelve years later, after miscarrying a wanted baby, the horrific reality of the abortion hit me..."You murdered your baby and are going to hell."  I was totally mentally and emotionally broken - suicidal.
It was then I found peace through becoming 'Born Again' through faith in Jesus.  However, I still suffered much pent-up trauma over 3 decades - extreme sadness, hospitalized depressions, relational problems, and a nightmare of waking up in a hospital covered in blood - like "What just happened?"
Seldom a day goes by that I don't reflect on this dark, dehumanizing, degrading act called abortion that savagely killed my child, Abagail Rose, inside my young body - A child killed inside a child.
For me, the murder of my child has always been the trauma of my life - never the crime of rape or "non-consensual sex."
Yes, there are 2 victims in an abortion.  Knowing 300 children are killed by abortion each day in Canada - the shockwaves continue.  The burden I carry for the plight of our preborn babies doesn't let up.
I am thankful for all Pro-lifers, salvation in Christ - the joy strength and hope in Him - and for my beautiful family.
It is my prayer that abortion will be abolished in North America through hearts and minds changed by exposing this most horrific injustice against humanity - and that is why I am Silent No More.


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